MAKING UP FOR THEIR ALLEGIANCE WITH THE DEVIL
Most people have seen “Blue Man Group” during the time they had sold their souls to the devil and were helping to promote the evil PC-based Pentium III processor chips. That aside, this Mac guy still went to see them.

Blue Man Group is absurdist performance art, is music, is part Gallagher show, is candy for the eyes, and so much more. It’s another show that defies description, at least mine. The group are three bald guys dressed in black and painted in what looks like still-wet-to-the-touch blue paint. They seem to be aliens of a sort, going through the show with the same wide-eyed innocent intentness that my Goddaughter has. They come upon items, play with them, make music with them, smash them, and generally have a good time.

We were in a area called the “Poncho Zone” which had us wearing plastic coats to protect ourselves from any show spray, be it paint when they dump paint onto a drumhead and then beat out their well-lit percussion of paint, or jello, or whatever else they might use. We probably didn’t need them. Aside from when a hunk of Jell-o missed my face by inches, there was nothing to be worried about.

Blue Man is also audience participatory, and not in a bad way. The group comes out into the audience a couple of times. They do use two volunteers over the course of the show. But it doesn’t end there.

Everyone is given a roll of towels to decorate themselves with. Silly, yes, but somehow fun, too. There are other towel portions of the night, too, but I don’t want to spoil anything. A word of note, too, all their towels are recycled material.

If you get a chance to see them, I recommend that you do.

I WOULD WALK A THOUSAND MILES
The Vegas strip is pretty long, and I’m stupid when it comes to walking. If I can see it, I can walk to it. So Bob and I probably logged a few miles traipsing up and down the strip.

One of the weird things to me about Vegas is that the hotels are the attraction. Going to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton when I’m staying at the Excalibur seems like jumping into the Days Inn pool when I’m staying at Motel 6, but they seem fine with it. Many of the hotels are wonderfully designed and themed, all of which house a myriad of casinos, shops, restaurants and, of course, buffets.

The Star Trek Experience is a personal favorite of mine. Not just because I’m a Trek Geek, but because by virtue of the concept, the place is themed like Deep Space Nine, standing in silent tribute to one of the best of the Trek series.

There’s a simulator ride which is just too cool. Through various, and damned impressive, effects, you wind up on the bridge of the Enterprise and in one of their shuttles. The theming is great here, with an exacting level of detail. When “Star Trek: The Next Generation” premiered, the set designers specifically put a bathroom on the bridge. (Think about it. Kirk didn’t have one on his, did he? He had to go down a floor to use the head? Then again, these are the same geniuses who never added seat belts until the latest Next Gen movie.) When you’re on the bridge, if you look in the right spot, you can see it. Oh, it doesn’t open or anything, but the door is there and clearly marked.

Also great about the ride are the actors. The ones leading you onto the simulator are the hokiest of people, right down to calling out “Are you all ready to go where no man has gone before?” so that when you meet the real Enterprise personnel, and you do, their stark seriousness is the perfect contrast.

We also got to see the famous Bellagio water show. Pictures don’t do it justice, it really is an amazing thing to watch. You’ll never be impressed by a mall water fountain again. And we wandered through Treasure Island, New York New York, Aladdin's, Circus Circus, and the most ostentatious of them all, Caesar’s Palace. And when you’re calling something in Vegas ostentatious, you know it’s big.

The weirdest is, of course, Luxor and it’s smooth all-black finish amongst a town of garish neon. When it beams its skylight/death ray heavenward, I just expect it to be something out of 2001. “My God, it’s full of stars...”

We made it downtown to Freemont Street. This is Old Vegas, and in an attempt to bring people back from the strip, they’ve covered the main drag in a roof of LEDs that put on an hourly lightshow. It’s fun to go to for a little while, and was certainly nice to see, but the strip, yeah baby, that’s the place for me.

I got to visit the Ghardelli’s chocolate soda fountain that was denied me on my last trip to Vegas. Stupid Lent and giving up chocolate! I know “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” and all, but I don’t see Pope John Paul II going for that as a kind of plenary indulgence. But I went this time.

We ate at Delmonico’s, which is Emeril LaGasse’s steakhouse. The food is great, as is to be expected, but what amazes me at each of his places is the service. Our table sat four, and since it was just Bob and me, they came and removed the two extraneous place settings without a clank of metal on porcelain at all. My water glass was never more that half-drunk before they’d fill it up. And when I got back from walking around or using the restroom, my napkin was folded up for me on my chair.

My favorite item, though, was on the wine list. There was a bottle that read 2000 Name of Some Iced Wine I Can’t Remember $15,900. Now, ice wines, while tasty as all get out, are generally pricey, I know, but about the same price as my car? I had to ask about that.

Turns out I had read it wrong. The 2000 referred to it’s place in the wine cellar. (The other wines around it were 2001, 2002, 1998, so it was an easy mistake.) The wine was actually bottled in 1900, a fact which I missed. So it’s a 103 year old bottle.

I know, honestly, it’s a waste of money but aren’t you just dying to know...?

Also finally made it to the Coyote Ugly bar at New York New York. Some of you may remember my obsession about this movie of female empowerment through tequila shooters and leather from my 2000 LA trip. The bar is pretty accurately portrayed, complete with the owner on top of the bar dancing and getting people up there, giving free shots to dancers and selected patrons. And by shots, I mean she holds the bottle and pours it down your throat.

It’s a throw-down, hang-out kinda fun place. I didn’t hang out too long, not being in a throw-down-hang-out-get-blasted kind of mood. But sometime when I’m in Vegas, Baby, again... and I will be, oh yes, I will be... I can see me spending some significant time there with the Coyotes.

Then I came home. The end.

Vegas deserves a better wrap up then that. The town was fun. The people were great. The con was the least part of the trip, which in no way lessens the aforementioned tax deductibility of it. I’ll be back, and I think you should be, too.