KICKIN’ IT UP A NOTCH
What really impressed me though was Universal.

The Universal Studios park has some decent rides, no doubt. The Men In Black ride is themed extraordinarily well. It starts out as a recreation of the 1945 World’s Fair, and turns into a MIB testing room. It’s another shoot-em-up while you ride in your MIB car game.

Yeah, Bob and I did it again. It’s sad that he acts as my tour guide and I show him up with my mad shooting skillz. I mean, double his score? That’s just showing off.

The real crown jewel, though, is the Islands of Adventure. There are five islands, Marvel Super Hero Island, Cartoon Island, Fantasy Island, and Jurassic Park Island and Dr. Suess Island.

LIKE I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WITHOUT THE RAMPANT DESTRUCTION
My favorite, no surprise here, was Marvel Super Hero Island. It’s hokey as all get-out, but it’s earnestly hokey. When you get a piece of apple pie at Captain America’s diner, it’s not just silly, it’s done out of love. There are several little touches, like signs for Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at Law or Dr. Don Blake’s medical practice.

There are all sorts of costumed characters walking around. They’re not the best costumes, I must admit, but they’re just so intense about it. Bob and I both had our pictures taken with Captain America, and each time he was suggesting a new pose, for us and all who came after him.

The picture of me getting choked by the Green Goblin? His idea not mine. And that was a particularly painful picture, too. Y’see, I’m a method actor, so to truly get the choking experience, I was holding my breath. Cameraman Bob, well, Gobby said it best when he said “I could have drawn a picture faster.”

I met Spider-Man, too, and was ready to tell him “Oh, I work for your company” (as I’m letterer on Crimson Dynamo from Marvel). There’s always that moment of self consciousness where you realize: I might be too old to be getting my picture taken with Spidey.

Before I could say a thing though, the Wall-Crawler burst, “Wow, I wish I had a cardboard cut-out of you to show all my Spider-Friends.”

I was taken aback. My well-thought out response was: “Huh?”

“Look at how tall and strong you are. I’d like to show them what happens when they drink their milk and eat all their vegetables.”

It takes a lot to deliver that line and not have it be schmaltzy, and this guy did it.

RIDE THE MARVEL STOCK ROLLER COASTER
There were a couple of rides of note.

The Incredible Hulk coaster is a darn fine coaster. It’s loopy and will mess you up. I couldn’t quite hear the concept behind it, since all the rides are things like “You’re helping Dr. Banner rid himself of the monster within by doing this kind of things.”

The ride, though, is Spider-Man. You sign on to do some stringer work for the Bugle, and go around is a big newspaper SUV and wind up getting involved in the middle of a battle between Spider-Man and the Sinister Six. It is, pun intended, amazing. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to being in the middle of a super-hero showdown.

The ride is a combination track ride, simulator, and 3-D ride and it works beautifully. There are all sorts of little touches that add to the experience if you catch them.

The ride did cause me to redefine my trip. When people ask me how the trip was, I always say “It was horrible! First, I decide to pick up some work at the Daily Bugle and get wrapped up in a super-hero battle, I take a little tour of Jurrasic Park and almost get eaten by a T-Rex, and I don’t even want to tell you about my trip on Star Tours.”

FOUR COLOR FUNNIES
There’s a cartoon themed park too, complete with a Popeye ride and a Dudley Do-Right ride. Seemingly, all the rides at this part of the park seem to be “How wet can we get you?”

The Popeye ride is one of those round river raft things. Many of these at other parks get you a little damp. Here at Universal, we soak you to your very core. I have never, ever ever gotten that wet on a ride. I’ve had showers where I’ve gotten less wet.

But you’re probably saying “Thom, so what? It’s sunny Florida. I’m sure you just dried out baking in the Orlando sun while your friends were suffering from hibernation sickness in Ohio.”

Yeah, except it wasn’t like that. It was nice and warm during the whole show except for two times. One was any time we were in the con. It rained then. That’s good timing, I figure. Another was this, our only day at Universal. It was overcast and sixty-something. And I was wet. And cold.

So, why stop at one? If I’m already saturated, why not go on another water ride? This one was Dudley Do-Right, a wonderfully designed flume ride. You know, one of those log ride slide things. A couple more places get you wet, but this ride has the longest, fastest and wettest splash slide out of any I’ve ever been in.

(And, as Bob told me later, a history of soft tissue damage and black widow spiders. I guess they slowed the ride a little so that people weren’t getting hurt on re-entry, but no word on whether the spiders that liked the dark moist places are still there.)

GOING FOR THE HAT TRICK
The last wet ride was Jurrasic Park, which says it’s a calm little safari ride, up until our boat went astray and wound up getting into the raptor paddock. Then we barely survived the T-Rex, and went down another water slide. Still, way fun.

RANDOM BITS...

My favorite sign of the trip was the “Baby Swap” sign. They say this is so parents can swap who’s holding the baby. One rides, one babysits. I dunno, sounds like a place where you can trade your ugly gangly baby for a better one.

There’s an entire Dr. Suess land, so completely realized that you really wonder what drugs Ted Geisel was doing. And yes, they do serve green eggs and ham.

Fantasy Land had some Atlantis theming that really was unimpressive. And, a racing dual car coaster where I met Omar Vizquel, who was there on an off day from Indians Training Camp. And I had always heard WinterHaven was the place to be for entertainment.

A couple days before Lent I managed to get to the Ghardelli’s at Downtown Disney and OD on chocolate before my forty days of cocoa-absitience. Shweeeet!

Many of you remember my Blue Crush hunt from a trip or two back. Look what followed me.

LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST
My little travelogue would be incomplete without my mention of Jodi, a lovely young lady I met at Pat O’Brien’s at Universal CityWalk. She and I hung out a lot that week, and we had a great time. She’s a really special woman. I’m glad I met her, and I’m thrilled that we’re still friends.